I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
