Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
