i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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