you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
