He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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