I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
