I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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