so that wasnt chicken after all
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
