I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
