his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
