do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just high enough for therapy.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
