Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
