I hope mine doesn't look like that
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
