im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
