He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
