your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
