like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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