Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
