You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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