Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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