I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
