doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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