she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
