I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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