I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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