Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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