margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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