U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
