HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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