she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
