You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
why didn't you poke me back
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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