I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
i think im in europe. pls send help
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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