I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
