I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Welp...herpes.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize