he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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