$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
