Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
