I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I deserve this hangover.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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