he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
