Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
