also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
