Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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