After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
