The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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