scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
