But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
