I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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