At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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