"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
