SEEEEXXX PLEASE
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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