whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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