i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Randomize
