actually, I'm a sock model
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
